Erectile dysfunction (ED) is a condition that is often unfortunately shrouded in a thick cloud of silence, affecting millions of men worldwide, yet rarely discussed openly. An unpleasant stigma has been fabricated around the condition, mustering up images of men perched at the edge of the bed, head in hands, questioning their manhood.
It’s a difficult conversation to both broach and navigate, that can be steeped in themes of shame and emasculation, however, the reality of ED in a contemporary world is far different. This antiquated perception is outdated, and we here at Clariti are not alone in our advocacy for a modern approach supported by inclusivity, willing vulnerability and an open dialogue. After all, a problem shared is a problem halved.
We’re here to help you discuss your experience and break the silence by helping you understand just how common it is and encouraging you to start talking about it.
The reality
It’s essential to remember that, if you are experiencing ED, you are not alone. There is no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed, it’s normal. In fact, accepting your experience for what it is, can be a very empowering step in your journey, and allow you to begin overcoming these negative feelings.
Healthline describes erectile dysfunction as the inability to maintain an erection firm enough for satisfying sexual activity[i]. While occasionally having difficulty maintaining an erection is normal, if it happens frequently then it’s important you reach out for support.
Despite the culture of silence that surrounds the condition, experts widely agree that the condition is far more common than we initially perceive.
- In the USA alone ED effects 30 million men[ii].
- 50-55% of men between the ages of 40 and 70 years old suffer from erectile dysfunction (ED), which constitutes around 4.3 million men in the UK[iii].
- One 2018 review estimated that ED effects one third of men worldwide[iv].
- It is estimated that by 2025, 322 million men globally will be affected by EDiii.
Not only is the commonality of ED not truly understood, but the demographic of men who it effects is often misconstrued. Whilst true the risk of developing ED increases with age; it can affect people of all age brackets.
- The Massachusetts Male Aging Study found that around 52 percent of men experience some form of ED, and that total ED increases from about 5 to 15 percent between ages 40 and 70[v].
- A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that ED affected about 26 percent of men under the age of 40[vi].
- Psychological factors (such as performance anxiety) or excessive porn consumption, which are both on the rise, are known to hinder young men’s ability to achieve erectionsiii.
Why we need to share
The outdated stigma surrounding ED prevents millions of men from seeking the help they need. This silence can only exacerbate the condition, as it becomes increasingly difficult to unearth your feelings and openly discuss any symptoms. Keeping quiet only leads to stress and anxiety, two things that really should be left outside of the bedroom. Just think, when was the last time you achieved an erection with an anxious cloud looming over? Not too arousing is it. Yet, opening up can do wonders for clearing that cloud.
We know it’s not the easiest topic to bring up, but with the knowledge of how prevalent it is for men across the world, we can assure you that you’re not alone, and there are people out there who can help.
So, why should we talk about ED, and most importantly, how do we do it?
Opening up to your partner about erectile dysfunction can feel intimidating, but it's one of the best things you can do for both your relationship and your own well-being. Imagine carrying the weight of this worry alone - it's taxing, and it can make you feel isolated.
Sharing your struggles with ED with your partner can bring immense relief and foster a deeper connection. It shows trust and vulnerability, which can strengthen your bond as a couple. Intimacy with your partner can be daunting when struggling with ED, but through communication, it can be an opportunity to understand your body. Your partner can become a crucial source of support, helping you navigate treatments and manage the condition together.
Most importantly, knowing that ED is a common issue can help both of you approach it as a team, finding solutions and maintaining intimacy despite the challenges. Having someone by your side who you can trust can make a world of difference.
That person doesn’t have to be a partner either, it can also be a close friend. Think about all the times your friends have had your back - this is no different. It’s likely that some of them may have experienced similar issues or know someone who has. By sharing your experiences, you can gain valuable insights and advice, and perhaps even a bit of humour to lighten the situation. Plus, normalizing these conversations within your friendship group can help break down the stigma surrounding ED.
Remember, friends are there to support you through thick and thin, and this is just another bump in the road you don’t have to face alone.
How to bring it up (No pun intended)
Below we have brought together some of our best tips on broaching an uncomfortable conversation that we can promise you won’t be as difficult as it appears in your head.
With your partner:
1. Choose the right moment: Being thoughtful of your timing when discussing sensitive topics is crucial. It's sometimes best to choose a time when you are both relaxed and can give each other your full attention, perhaps over a lazy Sunday breakfast together, or during a cosy night in.
2. Be honest and open: When we raise attention to a potentially challenging topic, it can sometimes cause a divide in a relationship as words could be perceived in the wrong way. It is crucial to be soft and kind with your language, being sure not to place blame on yourself or partner. Be honest and open with your teammate.
3. Educate together: This is your person who undoubtedly wants to help you. Learning about ED together can help your partner understand that it is a common issue and not their fault.
4. Explore solutions: It can be helpful to discuss potential solutions together, both getting valuable advice and discovering what you both believe will work best for you two.
With your friends this process can look slightly different:
1. Normalise the conversation: Try your very best to overcome any mental barriers you have on the topic and approach the chat as you would any other health concern. Casual conversations are deeply powerful and can help demystify ED.
2. Share resources: It might sound cliché, but sharing really is caring. Providing each other with information on ED and encouraging one another to seek medical advice can not only help your friends to embrace their treatment journey, but it can also help you discover guidance along the way.
3. Check in and offer support: If you find out your friend is also struggling, regular check ins can go along way with helping you both feel seen and understood.
Management therapies
Whilst you courageously work to reach the root of the cause and overcome any barriers with your support group, there are management options that can help you still achieve an erection.
One of the most widely known, and most popular, are drugs like the little blue pull, Viagra (sildenafil). Commonly prescribed, these medications help increase blood flow to the penis, allowing you to better get and keep an erection. However, they can have side effects such as headaches, feeling sick, indigestion and dizziness[vii].
If you are looking for an option that doesn’t bode the risk of these side effects and can be more easily obtained through online purchase without a prescription, perhaps consider vacuum-therapy devices, like Rapport . These non-invasive options can be highly effective and don’t involve taking a drug. Simply place the device over the penis and use the pump to create a vacuum and draw blood into the penis, inducing an erection. Safe, easy to access and intuitive to use, vacuum-therapy is a great option at managing your symptoms and achieving a satisfying sex life, whilst simultaneously tackling the root cause of your ED through communication with people you trust.
Conclusion
Whilst management options are helpful in maintaining a satisfying sex life, they are not the answer to targeting the root cause of erectile dysfunction. One of the most powerful acts you can do is break the silence and voice your experience. Talking about it and making ED a normal part of our conversations helps to lift the weight off your shoulders, strengthen your relationships and empower you to take charge of your sexual health.
So, let’s start the dialogue and support each other.
[i] Yetman, D. (2020) How common is erectile dysfunction? stats, causes, and treatment, Healthline. Available at: https://www.healthline.com/health/how-common-is-ed (Accessed: 26 July 2024).
[ii] Singlecare Team. (2024) Erectile dysfunction statistics 2020: How common is Ed?, The Checkup. Available at: https://www.singlecare.com/blog/news/erectile-dysfunction-statistics/ (Accessed: 26 July 2024).
[iii] O’Caelliagh, J. (2022) UK erectile Dysfunction Statistics: How Common Is It & Why?, ED Clinics. Available at: https://edclinics.co.uk/advice/erectile-dysfunction-statistics/ (Accessed: 26 July 2024).
[iv] Gerbild, H. et al. (2018) ‘Physical activity to improve erectile function: A systematic review of Intervention Studies’, Sexual Medicine, 6(2), pp. 75–89. doi:10.1016/j.esxm.2018.02.001.
[v] Feldman, H.A. et al. (1994) ‘Impotence and its medical and psychosocial correlates: Results of the Massachusetts Male Aging Study’, Journal of Urology, 151(1), pp. 54–61. doi:10.1016/s0022-5347(17)34871-1.
[vi] Capogrosso, P. et al. (2013) ‘One patient out of four with newly diagnosed erectile dysfunction is a young man—worrisome picture from the everyday clinical practice’, The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 10(7), pp. 1833–1841. doi:10.1111/jsm.12179.
[vii] (2022) NHS choices. Available at: https://www.nhs.uk/medicines/sildenafil-viagra/side-effects-of-sildenafil/ (Accessed: 26 July 2024).
